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Having Children #100486
08/09/06 03:51 PM
08/09/06 03:51 PM
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 1
Baltimore, MD
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Beka_CMT Offline OP
Junior Member
Beka_CMT  Offline OP
Junior Member
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 1
Baltimore, MD
My husband and I have been trying to decide whether or not to have children. He is 34 and has been trying to deal with the AS for 4 years now. His L4-L5 vertebrae are fused already. He can only bend over about 45-degrees. He is afraid that he won't be able to help me take care of the kids or play with them. To play with our 1-1/2-year-old niece, he has to lie on the ground on his belly, proped up on his elbows or on his side, proped up on one arm. He just plays video games with our 6-year-old nephew.

Any advice on what we should do? Any ideas on how we can take care of the kids together? Will he be able to pick them up? Change diapers?

And am I going to have to be taking care of my husband AND my kids? (He almost can't put on his own socks - and sometimes his underwear! He hasn't been able to tie his shoes on his feet in 3+ years.) When he is in pain, he is grumpy, sometimes to the point of being mean... how will that affect our kids?

We have talked about adopting so that our kids won't have a chance of getting AS, but I really doubt any agency would let us adopt...

Thank you in advance for any help you can give us!


Beka

"You can do no great things, only small things with great love." Mother Theresa
Re: Having Children #100487
08/28/06 08:21 PM
08/28/06 08:21 PM
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 1
Dayton, OH
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clord1 Offline
Junior Member
clord1  Offline
Junior Member
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 1
Dayton, OH
I am a child of a father who suffered from severe complications of AS(full spinal fusion, stooped over, hips and knees swollen and painful). My father was in a great deal of pain my entire life and unfortunatly passed away in 1998 from complications resulting from AS (respitory failure at age 57).

I am 35 now and can tell you that I have shown zero symptoms of AS. My childhood was good but one thing I wished my parents would have done was explain my father's disease. It is very hard for children to watch their parent suffer without understanding why they are different than your friend's parents. It is also hard for a child to watch people stare and point, but I think that communication is key here.

Don't be afraid of having children. Before my father, no one (even my Great, Great Grandparents) could remember anyone else developing AS. And remember to communicate with your children.

I loved my father unconditionally, as your child will do the same. Hope this helps.


Moderated by  ElinAslanyan 

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