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#100497 - 01/21/07 09:38 AM Brother-in-law with AS and fam MOVING IN  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4
DonnaMarie Offline
Member
DonnaMarie  Offline
Member

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4
Boston
Hello,

I just wanted to introduce myself, I'm Donna. My sister is married to a man who was diagnosed with AS one year into their marriage about 9 years ago. They have a four year old daughter, and were doing well for a long time.

The reason I'm here is because his disease is now progressing rapidly and is refractory to treatment. After a long period of denial, then grieving, and now planning, they are preparing to move into my home, probably permanently. Since they will now be a big part of my daily life, I thought this would be a good place to learn and problem-solve so that I can be a good support for them, not to mention it'll be a big change for me too and I'll need a place to unload, lol. But luckily I love my BIL and of course my sister, and with the way the space here has been divided, I'm actually looking forward to living as one big family.

Right now they're still trying to sell their home and the past year has been horrible for all of us, but especially them. I have to wonder if the immense financial pressure they've been under has sped up his disease process. I've reconstructed my house to accomodate all of them and to offer them a comfortable healing environment.

The only other thing I wanted to mention is that his dad also has AS, but a milder form of it. His spine is fused also, but he's in his 70's and still functional. My BIL is almost bone on bone his entire right side, and he's permanently hunched forward, and always in pain with some relief with courses of Prednisone. He's a great dad to their four year old, and I really want to do whatever I can to maintain that relationship.

If anyone can identify with all of this, would love to also hear about your experiences with loved ones.

#100498 - 01/27/07 08:41 AM Re: Brother-in-law with AS and fam MOVING IN  
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 2,327
SarahC Offline
Registered Visitor
SarahC  Offline
Registered Visitor

Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 2,327
Spring, TX
DonnaMarie,

Welcome to these Boards. You will find so much information and support here.

Please post on the General Message Boards-unfortunately many do not post here, and you will get a much better response on that board.

First let me say how wonderful you are, opening your home to your family and being so supportive.

My husband has AS, we have 3 children, and like your BIL, is progressing rapidly and hasn't had much luck with treatment.

Your sister and BIL are very fortunate to have you in their lives.

Take care,
Sarah


#100499 - 02/14/07 12:11 AM Re: Brother-in-law with AS and fam MOVING IN  
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 839
NicoleH Offline
Registered Visitor
NicoleH  Offline
Registered Visitor

Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 839
So Cal
Wow Donna, your BIL is soooo fortunate to have someone to turn to.

I have had a rough go at it the last 6 months. The pressure to keep working and pay my mortgage has not helped and litterly makes me ill some days. Like today, I feel horrible and flu like. I'm under sooo much stress to figure out how to make this work. I have no one to turn to if I can't make it. My husband works, but we need two incomes to pay the mortgage and car payments. This was a curve ball into our life path and was unprepared for the financial burden. I just want my cars paid off! But then their is my daughter's tuition, she is in private school and I can't imagine making her change to public just b/c I can't work full time. I just don't know what to do and the stress only ads to my AS.

You are a saint! I only wish I had an out like that!

Take care


Nicole

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