My husband was recently diagnosed with undifferentiated spondyloarthropathy, and he's had a significant challenge as we navigate the changes that he's facing and the limitations that he's encountering. I feel like I'm doing a good job of being a support to him--listening, supporting, offering unconditional love.
Where I'm struggling is with me. I'm slipping into depressive patterns (want to sleep alot, binge eating, self-critical thinking) that are destructive and keep me from being my best self.
I'm also guilt-tripping myself about not preparing the "perfect" diet for him and for myself. I'm a vegan (have been for 3 years), but I started a new job 9 months ago and have struggled with the balance in terms of preparing my own food. Often, I get takeaway or pre-made juices, &c. Lately I've been overeating and resisting buying any food that I need to make. I know how critical it is that someone with spondy eat well, and I want to be a help to him and a good example. I feel as if I'm failing in those goals--and I'm pretty sure my aim for perfection is unreasonable
Sorry to vent. I just feel as if I'm going to burst into tears at my desk right now, so I thought it would be better to share on the board.