Thank goodness I'm not the only one! I've wanted to walk into the ocean and never look back many times! I call it "falling apart" when there's no pain, then it happens and fast. It does make functioning in life difficult sometimes. As for cleaning, you are braver than I! Many times I been down to pick something up and I'll start to "fall apart". Keep your head up! Remember and cherish the good days/times, because when it hits, it hurts.