Spondyloarthritis / Spondylitis Forums - Spondylitis Association of America
Spondylitis Association of America Home Page Learn About Spondyloarthritis / Ankylosing Spondylitis About Us - Our Work More Ways To Connect With Others / Support Groups And More Become a Member of SAA We Are A Nonprofit - Donate Today Shop for Products
Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 4 >
Topic Options
#277183 - 01/31/17 04:46 PM am i having a nervous breakdown?
Shippingnews Offline
Registered Visitor

Registered: 10/11/15
Posts: 332
I obsess over trivial things. Like checking my car door is locked a 100 times. I always think something will go wrong with me. I talked to a counseller some time ago, scheduled an appointment and then cancelled it, I believed in something and acted upon it and thought a counseller is not going to be helpful to me. I always keep on thinking things will fail on me..Is it because I do not have any control on things and such trivial things gives me a sense of control? I was never so freak earlier, I used to be very careless about things and even if things go wrong it hardly used to think about them. But now... I am a mess. or is it because I cannot remember the things anymore? I am so afraid of doing things as if I will fail doing them..
_________________________
Male, early 30s. AS diagnosed Sep 2015. HLAB27+
Current medicines: Omeprazole, Vit D3, Celecoxib(1 tab)/Zorvolex(2 tabs)(alternatimg between these two every week), Pyridoxine, Isoniazid, MTX(3 tab) every wednesday, on humira every two weeks since Dec 2015, Weekly Humira since June 18th 2016

Top
#277184 - 01/31/17 04:47 PM Re: am i having a nervous breakdown? [Re: Shippingnews]
Shippingnews Offline
Registered Visitor

Registered: 10/11/15
Posts: 332
and I have understated the state I am in above, because I know you will think I am a freak...
_________________________
Male, early 30s. AS diagnosed Sep 2015. HLAB27+
Current medicines: Omeprazole, Vit D3, Celecoxib(1 tab)/Zorvolex(2 tabs)(alternatimg between these two every week), Pyridoxine, Isoniazid, MTX(3 tab) every wednesday, on humira every two weeks since Dec 2015, Weekly Humira since June 18th 2016

Top
#277185 - 01/31/17 06:46 PM Re: am i having a nervous breakdown? [Re: Shippingnews]
Shippingnews Offline
Registered Visitor

Registered: 10/11/15
Posts: 332
I get stuck when deciding about simple things. Like whether I should use this or that, etc... I am in total chaos. I dont get a sense of accomplishment if I do something..may be I am in so much of pain..nothing else matters..what I do or achieve..today I spent 30 minutes to decide whether the packing for my sunglasses which I wanted to sent for repair were sufficient enough or not..In the end I came back home from post office, because I knew I will never be able to decide..and I cried at my helplessness. Not the first time it happened to me. I go through it for anything and everything.. Everything seems so useless to me, as in what am I doing it for?.normal human being have a target or goal when they do something..like eating food(because they like the food, or enjoy the taste), doing simple chores,etc...for me it comes..down to what difference will it make...I am going to be a miserable person whole my life.......
_________________________
Male, early 30s. AS diagnosed Sep 2015. HLAB27+
Current medicines: Omeprazole, Vit D3, Celecoxib(1 tab)/Zorvolex(2 tabs)(alternatimg between these two every week), Pyridoxine, Isoniazid, MTX(3 tab) every wednesday, on humira every two weeks since Dec 2015, Weekly Humira since June 18th 2016

Top
#277189 - 02/01/17 08:38 AM Re: am i having a nervous breakdown? [Re: Shippingnews]
SouthernMoss Online
Registered Visitor

Registered: 03/12/13
Posts: 1604
Loc: MS
I think you are just overwhelmed. Chronic pain drains you mentally and emotionally, making even simple decisions hard. You may be depressed too, which is common in people with chronic pain.

I think you should go to the counselor. He/she can help you develop strategies to cope with your pain so that it doesn't overtake your life.

Also, if you aren't already seeing one, I would recommend seeing a pain specialist.
_________________________
Ginny - 56 year old female
Dx with USpA in March 2013; changed to AS in July 2015
Iritis and Scleritis
unicompartmental knee replacement June 2014
MTX, Humira, Cyclobenzaprine, plus Indomethacin ER as needed
Supplements: Folic Acid, Vitamin D, Calcium, Fish Oil, Melatonin, Culturelle probiotic

Top
#277190 - 02/01/17 09:31 AM Re: am i having a nervous breakdown? [Re: Shippingnews]
Shippingnews Offline
Registered Visitor

Registered: 10/11/15
Posts: 332
Thanks Ginny. It comforts me a bit its not my fault. I thought may be I am a freak, and I control my own confidence. But I do not, as you said I think the chronic pain have drained my mentally and emotionally and my confidence as well. When I talk to someone I do not have any confidence in my voice, like a old frail man.
_________________________
Male, early 30s. AS diagnosed Sep 2015. HLAB27+
Current medicines: Omeprazole, Vit D3, Celecoxib(1 tab)/Zorvolex(2 tabs)(alternatimg between these two every week), Pyridoxine, Isoniazid, MTX(3 tab) every wednesday, on humira every two weeks since Dec 2015, Weekly Humira since June 18th 2016

Top
#277191 - 02/01/17 09:45 AM Re: am i having a nervous breakdown? [Re: Shippingnews]
Shippingnews Offline
Registered Visitor

Registered: 10/11/15
Posts: 332
I am also seeing a pain specialist, my MRIs show I have

I am also seeing a pain specialist, my MRIs show I have

Lumbar Spine Without Contrast
1. Loss of normal Lumbar Lordosis
2. Schmorl Nodes noted from L1-L4 levels.
3. There is loss of disc hydration L1-L2 and L2-L3 levels.
4. No Focal Disc PAthology

Thoracic Spine
1. Mild Thoracic Spondylosis
2. T9-T10 . There is 1.2 mm central slighly left para central disc bulge indenting ventral thecal sac without significant spinal canal or Neural foraminal
stenosis


I have appointment on 15th to see Stanford Pain MAnagement, as my current pain management are only interested in making me visit as frequent as possible so they can bill my insurance, while for every appointment they only spend 10 minutes, and same set of questions
They are nice and polite, but the treatment is not helping me. So, I decided to change....
Not very hopeful about if Epidural injections will help..or if
the disc bulge is the cause of my pain...




Edited by Shippingnews (02/01/17 09:48 AM)
_________________________
Male, early 30s. AS diagnosed Sep 2015. HLAB27+
Current medicines: Omeprazole, Vit D3, Celecoxib(1 tab)/Zorvolex(2 tabs)(alternatimg between these two every week), Pyridoxine, Isoniazid, MTX(3 tab) every wednesday, on humira every two weeks since Dec 2015, Weekly Humira since June 18th 2016

Top
#277194 - 02/01/17 10:39 AM Re: am i having a nervous breakdown? [Re: Shippingnews]
Cake Offline
Registered Visitor

Registered: 08/08/13
Posts: 119
Loc: Madison, Wisconsin, USA
Dealing with a serious chronic illness and chronic pain is not easy. In my personal opinion, it is actually one of the hardest things a person may face in life. It is not uncommon for a stressful experience like this to trigger feelings of anxiety and depression.

Depending on your preferences and resources, it might be helpful to explore any or all of the following:

- counseling with a therapist who is experienced in working with patients with chronic illness/pain

- a support group (here is one that offers a free telephone support group for people who cannot find one locally, or are too ill to leave their home: http://www.painconnection.org/support/index.html )

- read books by people who have lived with serious illness/pain as well as books about how to cope with chronic illness/pain

- religious or spiritual support, prayer, etc.

- meditation practice (doesn't matter what religion you are).

I have lived with pain and illness for over twenty years now, and I have used all of the above at various times.

Best wishes to you!

Top
#277244 - 02/06/17 07:41 AM Re: am i having a nervous breakdown? [Re: Shippingnews]
Jalf Offline
Registered Visitor

Registered: 06/21/13
Posts: 50
Hi Shippingnews, Iím sorry youíre feeling this way. I will tell you my experience and maybe it will help. Sometimes I feel like I canít leave my apartment, even to go to the grocery store. Itís an irrational fear and I know it doesnít make sense. Sometimes it helps if I will wait till itís dark outside and there are less people around. When I feel this way, minor OCD tendencies start occurring like I need to walk around a lamp-post a certain way or I'm checking the heater is off for the millionth time.

Iíve also done similar things to you with the sunglasses, to the point were I work myself into a panic attack. Last summer was the first time I realised I was having full anxiety attacks. I have since started saying Ďnoí to people. I was committing to too many things that other people wanted me to do, and it stressed me out because I was afraid of letting them down.
But anyway, whenever I have a day or a week where everything is going wrong, I just stop and leave everything alone. Unless thereís some sort of an emergency, I just cancel everything and indulge in movies and books until I calm down and I can think straight again.

I have seen a counsellor before, and the only thing it did for me was burn a whole in my pocket. I wasted money I didnít really have to spare. But everyoneís different so seeing a counsellor might help you. I just thought, if I can get myself into this frenzied mess, I'm going to have to get out of it by myself.
_________________________
Female, 27 years old. AS in 2008. Symptoms since 2007.

Top
#277263 - 02/08/17 09:12 PM Re: am i having a nervous breakdown? [Re: Shippingnews]
Shippingnews Offline
Registered Visitor

Registered: 10/11/15
Posts: 332
Thank you Cake and Jalf. That explains.
I felt my heart palpitations as well, and I read they are related to panic attacks. That explains a lot, why I behave like freak when around people, even before I was diagnosed. Now I try to remind my self there is nothing wrong with the situation and I will always feel anxious no matter what I do. So, I try to wait and see what happens. This disease is much more than just a painful disease it is a mental, physical and emotional onslaught.
_________________________
Male, early 30s. AS diagnosed Sep 2015. HLAB27+
Current medicines: Omeprazole, Vit D3, Celecoxib(1 tab)/Zorvolex(2 tabs)(alternatimg between these two every week), Pyridoxine, Isoniazid, MTX(3 tab) every wednesday, on humira every two weeks since Dec 2015, Weekly Humira since June 18th 2016

Top
#277264 - 02/09/17 04:57 AM Re: am i having a nervous breakdown? [Re: Shippingnews]
Jalf Offline
Registered Visitor

Registered: 06/21/13
Posts: 50
These pain management peopleÖ How do you act when you see health related professionals? When Iím feeling helpless and exhausted, Iím passive and donít really say anything. Iíve discovered that doctors or physioís or whoever it is, love an easy patient and they try get you back out the door as fast as possible. I recently took on an aggressive / assertive persona and I was taken far more seriously. If youíre not going to fight for yourself, who is? Be dramatic. Do what you have to do to get results because nobody else is going to give a cr*p about yourself as much as you are. Try to find the courage and strength to stick up for yourself.

And yes, I think the worst consequences of having chronic pain is being incapacitated by it and therefore isolated, not really the pain itself.
_________________________
Female, 27 years old. AS in 2008. Symptoms since 2007.

Top
Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 4 >


Moderator:  ElinAslanyan