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Re: Attitude and AS [Re: achala] #281287
08/31/18 10:16 PM
08/31/18 10:16 PM
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The world is pretty messed up so I'm not dying to live forever, especially if I don't enjoy it. Last few days I have been ok, but very sore and tired today and not enjoying it. Outside of spending time with my wife, I don't enjoy much and don't really look forward to much at this point. I promised my wife the world, so I need to stick to that and try to ride it out as long as possible.

Sure everything about this thing is depressing, and there are a lot of other things in conjunction with life ife that is depressing, so it is what it is. Probably better to be dead than letting this disease put you in a chair.

In a world where people kill themselves because they only got an entry level BMW for their birthday, or no one believes 'sea turtle' is a gender, I am kinda glad to have made it this far without drowning myself.

Always remember other people have it worse, and so many people can't survive with having a great life. If you have to go out, go out with a bang.


Do you think I may be able to get a gig as a motivational speaker?

Re: Attitude and AS [Re: achala] #281288
08/31/18 11:00 PM
08/31/18 11:00 PM
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oh no. spoke too soon. one of my internal organs hurt and i am getting all hot and sweaty and disoriented. i might be dying guys. if you don't see me tomorrow it's not because we fell out of love, it's probably because god decided to finish the job.

Re: Attitude and AS [Re: achala] #281290
08/31/18 11:20 PM
08/31/18 11:20 PM
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Whoa, i'm ok. probably just gas. had me worried there for a moment.

Re: Attitude and AS [Re: sdot] #281291
09/01/18 01:09 PM
09/01/18 01:09 PM
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Originally Posted by sdot
Whoa, i'm ok. probably just gas. had me worried there for a moment.


Sorry to hear that you're struggling. I've been dealing with dizziness an disorientation lately, too. It's horrible. When it hits it honestly feels as if I'm having a heart attack. I'm seeing a dizziness specialist on Wednesday to try and start to get to the bottom of it. And fix it if it's at all possible.

Re: Attitude and AS [Re: sdot] #281292
09/01/18 09:18 PM
09/01/18 09:18 PM
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Originally Posted by sdot
The world is pretty messed up so I'm not dying to live forever, especially if I don't enjoy it. Last few days I have been ok, but very sore and tired today and not enjoying it. Outside of spending time with my wife, I don't enjoy much and don't really look forward to much at this point. I promised my wife the world, so I need to stick to that and try to ride it out as long as possible.

Sure everything about this thing is depressing, and there are a lot of other things in conjunction with life ife that is depressing, so it is what it is. Probably better to be dead than letting this disease put you in a chair.

In a world where people kill themselves because they only got an entry level BMW for their birthday, or no one believes 'sea turtle' is a gender, I am kinda glad to have made it this far without drowning myself.

Always remember other people have it worse, and so many people can't survive with having a great life. If you have to go out, go out with a bang.


Do you think I may be able to get a gig as a motivational speaker?





The thing for me is that there IS much I look forward to. I still have so many books to read, movies to watch, places to visit, time to spend with my girlfriend and family. I don't want to allow AS to take my life away, neither metaphorically nor literally.

For 6 years I felt like AS was behind me almost. Now I gotta grieve again.

Re: Attitude and AS [Re: achala] #281293
09/01/18 09:31 PM
09/01/18 09:31 PM
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But yeah, being sore and tired might actually be worse than pain. The worst days are when I'm just vaguely sore all over, tired and feel like I almost have the flu. When I have localized pain but good energy I can manage.

Re: Attitude and AS [Re: achala] #281295
09/02/18 03:20 PM
09/02/18 03:20 PM
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I hear you. There is a lot of look forward to I guess. I have done a lot before this disease, so it's going to be hard to top without me getting a few million bucks. Even without AS, watching movies, reading books and etc. I have lost a lot of interest in. I miss some of the more spectacular things. Wanted to get my pilot's license, eat at nice restaurants every day, take my family on vacations, travel, buy some stuff that I want.. you know..

For me it's not the pain, and it's not the crappy future outlook. It's the limitations that I am having now.

Pre-AS me was a doer. Never a dull moment, always out and about doing things, meeting people. Now I sit here sore, creaking and cracking, tired,issues popping up here and there, and that is very limiting.

My family wanted to go to the drive in a few weeks back, and I was so sore sitting there that I had to struggle through the first movie and had to leave before the second. They want to go again, but I don't know if that will ever happen. Personally I don't care for the drive in anyways, but it impacts my family so that is tough. If it was just me I could care less, I wouldn't even be here, but with responsibility as my purpose, I gotta try to make it work.

Re: Attitude and AS [Re: achala] #281296
09/02/18 03:21 PM
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Just need enough money, and I can make everything work.

Re: Attitude and AS [Re: achala] #282279
12/26/18 09:07 PM
12/26/18 09:07 PM
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I am feeling down I struggle every month to make my pain medication last and still be functional to my wife and kids. Today is my wife’s birthday and I have one pill to last me until tomorrow when I can refill my script. I am so fed up with this type of life. Nothing else works for me but opiates. I have become less social and less able. Work is an ongoing struggle and I don’t see anything making it better. I will try diet change but the stress has gotten to my wife after all these years and to me. I wonder if my thyroid and testosterone have dropped as I have lost me sex drive and I am having body temperature issues. Doctors take forever to figure things out. I hope you have found something and I keep thinking someone will figure something out for me but it’s getting harder I know you know how that feels.

Re: Attitude and AS [Re: sdot] #282280
12/26/18 11:00 PM
12/26/18 11:00 PM
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Sdot, I recommend seeing a mental health professional to work on some strategies. I'm sure that just suffering through life is not what your family hopes for for you. You seen like a good person and deserve better quality of life. Some satisfaction, joy, peace each day, even if you're not as able-bodied or rich as you'd like to be and you live with pain. Best wishes.

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