Prkyx3, thank you so much for starting this discussion. It's one of my favorite topics now that we've found a solution. Married for 36 years and just recently diagnosed with AS, we didn't have sex, by my choice, for five YEARS.
So the solution: Have you heard of karezza? It is a wonderful form of "slow" sex that is nurturing and replenishing rather than fiery and consuming. It does not depend upon an erection or an orgasm and, in fact, removes all performance anxiety for men.
If you are used to conventional friction-based sex,you might want to read Marnia Robinson's book: Cupid's Poisoned Arrow. She provides a pathway, through bonding behaviors, i.e. affection, to this new type of sex. Marnia's ecstatic exchanges helped to rekindle my libido and introduced me to new, comfortable positions, such as scissors.
To understand how this type of sex works also read books by Diana and Michael Richardson, such as: Tantric Sex for Men and Tantric Orgasm for Women. They explain how soft entry works and give a great deal more information than I knew about how male and female sexuality function. I recommend books by all three authors highly.
Personally, this type of sex has been a real gift to us. We have sex every day--lol! I guess we're trying to make up for lost time...We have new experiences almost every day... Although he is not afflicted with AS, he enjoys karezza as much as I do. We fully expect to practice karezza no matter how disabled either one of us becomes until one of us dies. While it has not seemed to have an impact on the AS, karezza with my beloved does make me very happy.