Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Feeling quite sad!
#231614 04/19/12 12:21 AM
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 171
G
gramtam Offline OP
Registered Visitor
OP Offline
Registered Visitor
G
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 171
I am needing some advise from someone who knows what life with AS is like.
I am so exhaused it's hard to think straight. Lately my house and the maitenance of it is very overwhelming. I have a cleaner every second week but it is the daily routing that is exhausting. Our house is 2100 sq ft with another 1100 developed in the basement. I am at the point where I want to downsize so I can enjoy more that life has to offer and my husband doesn't. He just says I am too fussy and that's why the house consumes me. I do like a clean house but we all know how long it takes us to do anything physically.
Any advise out there. All I want to do is cry I don't feel my husband understands.


Tammy McNaught
Re: Feeling quite sad!
gramtam #231652 04/19/12 01:17 PM
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 13,279
J
Registered Visitor
Offline
Registered Visitor
J
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 13,279
He definitely doesn't understand... maybe you need to just stop doing so much so he can see how much you are really doing! Sounds like you need to have a sit-down talk with him about shared goals and values. Sounds like you also need to regroup with your doc as whatever treatment you are getting is not helping enough!


Jen, 42, happy partner of James and Moma to Evan, 14, & Lucy, 12.5 (Crohn's dx @ age 3; on Remicade since April 2010.) I take piroxicam, Flexeril, & Nucynta ER nightly. 3 anti-TNFs didn't pan out for me.

"Science is the father of knowledge, but opinion breeds ignorance." -- Hippocrates
Re: Feeling quite sad!
JenInCincy #231712 04/20/12 02:51 AM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 218
J
jrp Offline
Registered Visitor
Offline
Registered Visitor
J
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 218
I've adopted a new attitude as far as cleaning, etc. It can wait. If somebody else wants something done, they can just do it for themselves. I think of it as if it were my last day on earth. I sure wouldn't want to spend my energy washing floors. Of course my floors aren't the cleanest, but in the grand scheme of a life with AS, it's trivial. Frankly, most housecleaning is torture for me. (I do have lots of fusing - took many years to get diagnosed & treatment. My hips are the only major joints not affected, axial and peripheral symptoms) The current White House administration has outlawed torture and there isn't anyone who loves me would want that for me. If I have to remind them of that fact, I'm not bashful about it. I'm too old and too cranky for that kind of crap. I do what I can, when I can. I go one day at a time.

Thankfully I have somebody at home who understands what I have and is very supportive. I'm 52 and he's 62 with his own share of health challenges. The two of us together don't make a housekeeper, but we both have a good sense of humor. Jennifer..

Re: Feeling quite sad!
jrp #231724 04/20/12 02:16 PM
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 23
Q
Registered Visitor
Offline
Registered Visitor
Q
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 23
Realizing how unimportant a perfect house is, is the first step!!! My home is not unsanitary.. Yes it is dusty at times.. No I haven't mopped the floors in ages... If I drop something on the floor, chances are good it'll stay there til someone else can pick it up... But all this doesn't change the feeling of "home". I do my best to be cheerful, joyful and encouraging even if I'm not moving around too much. A perfect house is not a priority!!! I do think at some point (if our kids ever move out smile we'll downsize because it'll be more practical!! Cheer up! Focus on the important stuff!!

Re: Feeling quite sad!
gramtam #243773 11/12/12 01:12 AM
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 171
G
gramtam Offline OP
Registered Visitor
OP Offline
Registered Visitor
G
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 171
Hi AS friends. It's been quite awhile since I have visited the site. I thought I should give an update. My husband and I sat down in June and had a long talk about downsizing. Well, we sold our house within a month,bought a condo with a walk out basement, 1000 sq ft smaller than our house and what a huge differance.
Of course there is always cleaning issues but I don't get overwhelmed anymore.
Right across the street from us is a walking park which I used daily until the snowfall and cold set in. Winter is extremely depressing mainly because I don't get out much. I try to focus on the positive because life could always be worse.
Take care all.


Tammy McNaught
Re: Feeling quite sad!
gramtam #243788 11/12/12 01:10 PM
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 499
O
Registered Visitor
Offline
Registered Visitor
O
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 499
Most days I am lucky if I am able to cook and do dishes. Even that requires a rest in between. When I was younger I used to be able to clean the whole house in a day. This is my new reality. I have found that you have to pace yourself so that you don't overdo things. That just makes things worse the next day. I find that if I push until I am in a lot of pain, I am frustrated and resentful. Laundry gets done over the course of a few days. Mopping and vaccuming are often overdue. I also think it is time for us to downsize, but the housing market is not conducive to selling right now. Would love main floor laundry.


Age 61. AS dx'd at age 57
HLA-B27+,iritis/uveitis periodically since 1970, diabetic
Meds. naproxen and muscle relaxer(as needed)
Re: Feeling quite sad!
gramtam #244317 11/22/12 04:14 PM
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 8
Registered Visitor
Offline
Registered Visitor
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 8
I went through a period where walking from one end of my house to the other had my legs feeling like rubber. I'd fix Thanksgiving dinner & excuse myself to sleep instead of eat!
It was my thyroid! Hypothyroidism is another auto-immune disease that can be triggered by AS. Thyroid replacement meds helped greatly.
Ask your Dr. to check you TSH level.
I hope this will solve your problem.


Married to a wonderful man 23yrs, w/ a terrific son diagnosed with AS.

Acquired AS 28yrs ago. Severe Fibromyalgia, Migraines, Multiple system involvement: heart, remaining kidney (no nsaid's allowed), spine (+ spinal stenosis), neck, knees (Rcd total Rht knee replacement 7/13, Lft scheduled for 9/13), thyroid, etc... Medically retired from US Military.
Now recently diagnosed w/ Primary Hypogammaglobulemia to boot!

Moderated by  ElinAslanyan 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.4