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Re: Do pets help?
Rachel01 #263333 01/14/14 12:09 AM
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To be honest, I'm more concerned about his family, although I am my dad's "only" daughter. His only birth daughter that is, he has two step daughters. I'm sure they will understand. Thank you for the support guys smile As always, you're the best!


Rachel
ANA+, HLA-B27+, started Remicade June 2008, switched to Enbrel September 2010, switched to Humira April 2011, stopped biologics September 2011. Fusion already started, 25 years old.
Re: Do pets help?
Rachel01 #263348 01/14/14 01:40 PM
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Rachel,

What wonderful, happy news about Pearl! Congratulations to all of you!

About the wedding thing - having just had 2 in our family in the past 2.5 years...do whatever will be more fun and less hassle for you, since you're the one stress will hit the hardest. Your plan sounds great to me!


Joani; 72-year-old with undifferentiated spondylitis and erosive inflammatory osteoarthritis in hands & wrists; taking low-dose prednisone, Vitamin D, use Voltaren gel for hands & wrists; other meds for heart, thyroid, allergies & sinusitis. Blessed with great husband, 5 kids & their spouses, 11 beautiful grandchildren.
Re: Do pets help?
Rachel01 #263364 01/14/14 07:54 PM
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On the pets question - pets definitely help. There are studies out there that prove it. For my part, my cats can sense my moods and will try to comfort me if I'm sick or feeling down. I think Pearl will make a positive impact for you.

For the wedding question - my daughter got married a couple of years ago, and this is what I told her: "This is YOUR wedding. Don't let anyone try to sway you or guilt you or shame you into anything you don't want to do. Listen to suggestions, certainly. But in the end, YOU are the bride. This day is all about you and your fiance. Do what makes YOU happy!"


Ginny - 58 year old female
Dx with USpA in March 2013; changed to AS in July 2015
Iritis and Scleritis, both currently in remission
unicompartmental knee replacements: right-June 2014, left-Aug 2018
MTX, Humira, Cyclobenzaprine, plus Celebrex as needed
Supplements: Folic Acid, Vitamin A, Vitamin D, Calcium, Fish Oil, Culturelle probiotic, Melatonin (as needed)
Re: Do pets help?
Rachel01 #263376 01/14/14 10:08 PM
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Congrats on the Pearl! Picture please! Also, congrats on the engagement. Having two grown kids with whom I would be very hurt if I had to only see pictures of their wedding, might you consider a very short, private ceremony with immediate family ONLY, and then off to the airport? Might kill 2 birds. With one stone..... Just sayin'. smile


Psoriatic Arthritis since 2000. Failed Enbrel and Humira, now on Cimzia and methotrexate.
Re: Do pets help?
Rachel01 #263390 01/15/14 06:17 AM
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Thanks on the congrats Beckysue! I will absolutely put up pictures as soon as she gets here. We just got word today that the adoption was officially approved, BUT they cannot transport her this weekend because they just gave her a booster vaccine, so now we have to wait one more week... I know it's really not long in the scheme of things but we were really looking forward to having her this weekend.

We have considered the very small wedding, but to be honest it's not really what I want. Ideally (if anything) I would want my close family members to come to where we were getting married, even if it was just our parents, but I realize it's incredibly unfair of us to ask that of them. My biggest reason for wanting them there is that I'm incredibly close with my dad and I always pictured him being there with me.


Rachel
ANA+, HLA-B27+, started Remicade June 2008, switched to Enbrel September 2010, switched to Humira April 2011, stopped biologics September 2011. Fusion already started, 25 years old.
Re: Do pets help?
Rachel01 #263408 01/15/14 01:36 PM
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Originally Posted By: Rachel01
Ideally (if anything) I would want my close family members to come to where we were getting married, even if it was just our parents, but I realize it's incredibly unfair of us to ask that of them. My biggest reason for wanting them there is that I'm incredibly close with my dad and I always pictured him being there with me.

It's not fair or unfair - it's what you want! The question is whether it is feasible. "Destination" weddings are increasingly common, as I am sure you know; and often due to the time & expense of travel, are very intimate affairs. One of my cousins was married in Italy with only their two sets of parents in attendance; they had a "reception" later that year which was attended by our large family and his & his wife's many friends. I think everybody was pleased even if more might have liked to be at the wedding. But I have a pretty tolerant & non-judgmental family smile

Consider this: often, the parents of the bride spend a considerable sum on their daughter's wedding. If your parents would be paying for some portion of a "traditional" wedding, what about asking them to use that money instead for a smaller wedding in the location of your choosing? Instead of all the usual costs, money could go to airfare. I know you mentioned NZ for your honeymoon - that might be a reach for most Americans for a wedding smile - but maybe there is another pleasant location you all would enjoy?

I definitely agree that it is your wedding. But IMO it is also good to consider the desires of the people you care about, what those wishes are REALLY about, and how/if you can satisfy the root desires behind the stated desires. Hopefully that makes sense! My own wedding (last century, lol!) was a mix of traditional and non-traditional as were two family weddings (my stepson's and my brother's) in the past 2 years. I'm pretty sure everybody enjoyed themselves at all 3 ceremonies and receptions! Since my "new" partner and I have actively chosen not to take the typical marriage path, so in lieu of a wedding we are planning a "command performance" to celebrate our 10th anniversary in a couple of years, likely at a location that is geographically central to our family who are spread from central NY to DC to Tampa to SW Ohio. I'm looking forward to it already smile

Re: Do pets help?
Rachel01 #263431 01/15/14 10:43 PM
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Congrats on your new addition and the engagement! I know I'm late to this, but my dogs (one medium and one giant) are very important to me, and I feel they lift my spirits a lot. Walking them also encourages me to be active.


Amy

27 years old
AS diagnosis 2013; neck pain for seven or eight years, and spreading multiple-joint pain for about two years
Also: Fibromyalgia, Hashimoto's, hypoglycemia, Raynaud's phenomenon
Meds: Remicade, Norco (10-325 mg), Gabapentin, allergy shots, Prozac, Synthroid (25-50 mcg)
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