Important Reminder ... This Weekend in Spondyville:
This weekend in Spondyville, the little town that Time forgot, but Spondylitis remembered ... Spondyville's town handyman, "Pops" DeMaupassant, will once again climb the rickety ladder to the tower high atop the Spondyvile Town Hall and re-set the town clock, which marks the official end of Daylight Savings Time in Spondyville for another year.
You might remember that 2013 was supposed to be "Pops" final time re-setting the clock, but in 2014, his young assistant, Todd Tripzen-Stumbles lived up to his name and broke his ankle. So "Pops" was asked to come out of retirement and do the time change as he has so many times in the past. This year, the ever imaginative Mr. Tripzen-Stumbles dropped a tray of Belgian Waffles on his feet while serving a table of nuns at last weekend's charity breakfast to raise money for the Uriah Stoop Middle School's Girls' Field Hockey team. This resulted in at least two broken feet and an inability to climb a ladder, so once again, "Pops" was called back to duty. As always, a small crowd will gather across the street in Ankylosinger Square to watch "Pops" perform his task at 2AM on Sunday morning. This loyal group of Spondyville residents will yell encouragement and remind "Pops" to "Fall Back!" (This vocal "reminder" was deemed necessary after the 2001 incident, when "Pops" mistakenly set the clock forward in the fall and back in the spring, thus confusing everyone for the entire year.)
You might also recall that tragedy was averted three years ago, when "Pops" again set the clock forward one hour instead of back. The helpful crowd yelled up to him, "Fall Back, Fall Back!!”, but "Pops", who had come straight from an all-night "Simon Sez" session over at the Senior Center, had a flashback to earlier in the evening, and proceeded to literally 'fall back' ... off of the ladder ... even though the crowd had not said "Simon Sez" ... Fortunately, he grabbed the hands of the clock as he fell, which re-set the clock to the proper time (and made him look a bit like an aging Harold Lloyd in "Safety Last" ... but never mind that. ) Pops then had the good sense to hold on for dear life until the local EMS unit arrived to pry his hands off the clock and take him to the ER for "observation." (Where the young ER doctor looked at him, rolled his eyes, threw up his hands and sent him home …)
Hopefully, this weekend, "Pops" will once again remember that the yelling of the crowd refers to what he is supposed to do with the clock and not what to do while on the ladder.
And, as per tradition, "Pops" will perform his task while uttering his
now famous slogan, "An hour saved is a minute earned sixty times."
Meanwhile, his erstwhile replacement, Todd Tripzen-Stumbles, a recent graduate of Spondyville High School for the non-performing arts, will offer his assistance, if needed, by simultaneously holding the ladder for "Pops" and doing a life twitter feed of the event.
For the "100 percenters" in the crowd, (Spondyvilleans who are totally fused), there are, of course, prism binoculars available, donated by the Marie Strumpell Charitable Foundation, which makes it easier to watch Pops' antics atop the ladder.
Coffee and crullers will be provided for all by the adjacent Spondy Cafe.
Music will be provided by Magnolia Fox and her band of miscreants.
Officer Floyd Crimp (aka 'Flatfoot Floyd, the fused fuzz.’ aka 'Officer Crimp, the cop with the limp.'), asks all residents of Spondyville to make sure they toss their uneaten donuts into the "Crullers for Coppers" barrel outside the post office, AND remember to set YOUR clocks back one hour on Saturday night.
P.S. Todd Tripzen-Stumbles is, of course, the great-grandson of Spondyville pioneer, Andrew Tripzen. As you know, Spondyville's co-founders, Uriah Stoop and Elias Fuselot immortalized their pal, Andrew Tripzen, by naming the cascading waters outside of town, Andy Tripzen Falls ... But that's a whole other story.