Spondylitis Association of America Forums General Discussion Women Only Message Board Open honest post; sexual disfunction

I had to have a hysterectomy a couple of years ago. I am still bitter that, I am not in the small percentage of women who, go sex crazy after having the procedure. I'm in the personality change, moody group unfortunately.

It's all fine and dandy except, for this AS which causes horrible back pain! I now tend fake my way through sex because no matter what, it makes my back hurt. I've been to many a doctor and there's nothing they can do. I already have pain meds, but I still avoid wanting to have sexual intercourse. Sexual disfunction is a cruel word like, you're dysfunctional when it comes to sex. This term should only be used on men! It seems to fit better. Since I had a fall right after my procedure, it was assumed the pain was caused by nerve damage. Which still sucks. What sucks more is that I'm 28 years old and married. My husband has been pretty understanding through all of this, especially because I'm no longer interested in sex. I feel bad for him but worse for me because I have to suffer. I do what any adoring 1950's Stepford wife would do and let him hop on. Yes, very unromantic. Do any of you have this problem because of AS or something else? Any suggestions? Is there a magical pill I don't know about? Some stretches, at this point I'll try snake oil!

Wow, I'm surprised no one responded to this sooner!

I too have had issues in the intimacy department because of back pain, and OY I feel you when there is just no desire to be found.

What has helped me is to try as many different positions as possible and find the one in the moment that doesn't suck. Sometimes its bent over the bed with my belly on the mattress and my legs on the ground, sometimes it's sideways on my back, sometimes there just isn't a way around it and I have to find another way to make the magic happen without actual intercourse.

I'm 35, and I know it's not easy when your mind tells you one thing and your body says another.

Oh, and if it helps at all, salonpas patches, aspercreme, or an icyhot comparative might bring a little relief.

Good luck, sista.

Oh I feel your pain. I had a baby in January and was hit with AS pain last August it was a roller coaster of pain and emptions. Sex became a stressful chore. It had to be done because intimacy is so important in marriage but I just couldn't get comfortable. I don't have good advice other than to just do it and do whatever feels comfortable. Foreplay helps me the most. And some ibuprofen afterwards
Keep on keepin on