Spondylitis Association of America Forums General Discussion Men Only Message Board AS Effecting my 'Mannocity'

Sometimes I feel that I really don't fit the mold of the teenage boy because of my AS. I am 14, about to enter highschool and play absolutely no sports. This alienates me from alot of my fellow XYers.

Now I'm the first to say that men (boys) don't have to play sports and your no less of a man if you don't. I don't like sports (but never really got a chance to play competitivly because of AS) and have no desire to start (even if I could). However because of this I share little with most of the guys I know. I do hang out/ affiliate/ connect with alot of girls partly because of this. But sometimes (alot of times) I want to do more, well, more boy stuff. Not stuff boys generally do, but stuff with boys (just realized how wrong that sounds. Meh, it's mens forum).

I dunno what to expect in responses. Reassurance? Advice? Candy?

I was lucky that my AS did not get bad till high school, I only played volleyball in high school though anyway. And I still play. I make myself stay active it is too easy to just lay around and with AS it only makes things worse. Try smarting with small things walk around the block, go for a bike ride not knowing how severe you are I can not tell you what to try. I can tell you swimming will help alot, and is low impact meaning your joints will not take a beating. Let me know if you have tried some of these things or what kind of shape you are in.

Hey Stu,
I kind of know what you mean, not just when I was younger but even today I often find it easier to get along with women. My AS didn't kick in till I was in my early twenties, and as a kid I loved sports - but only to play. I wasn't a huge fan of watching sports, I'd rather be out playing them. This often made it difficult to talk to other guys when they start talking sports. You kind of get a glazed look on your face and they might as well be speaking another language. But in truth this can happen with many different things. I'm an army brat, so I travelled around a lot for much of my childhood, as a result a lot of 80s pop culture references are lost on me.

The answer sounds rather simple, just find something else to talk about. I know that's not often an easy thing to do, especially if you're more reserved or introverted. But movies, music, games, consoles, gadgets... etc. there's a whole word of other things to talk about and bond over out there. It's just a matter of finding those mutual interests and striking up the conversation.

An alternative? don't necessarily watch a game, but catch the highlights or the score just to keep up on local happenings. That way you can at least get involved in conversation at a low level and who knows, maybe it will grow in to more of an interest.

Tober

Stup, what I'd recommend is watching ESPN Sportscenter each day. That way, you get the highlites of what's going on and have at least some idea of what's going on in the sports world. You'll be able to carry on a conversation with other guys about this stuff and not look like an idiot. If by some chance you don't get ESPN or don't have cable, read the sports page of your newspaper. If nothing else, this will make you more well rounded as a person.

As far as the ladies go, most women like a guy that makes them laugh. So, if you have a good sense of humor, don't be afraid to let it show.

There are some sports or outdoor things you can do. What about fishing? Camping? Hiking short distances?

Playing sports doesn't make you a man. Yes, I did when I was in HS but I'm older and wiser now at 45. OK, at least I think I'm a little wiser. What makes you a man is being responsible, reliable, a guy that others can count on, showing up for work every day and doing your best all the time. In short, it's much more important that when people talk about you, they can say, "He's a good guy and a good friend.". Hang in there!

Braveheart, Tober and Guarding21 offer some sage advice, Stuppski. Nicely put, gentlemen.


Spenser23