Spondylitis Association of America Forums General Discussion Young Adults - The 20-Something Club How to deal with peers or social interaction?

I havent had much experience with telling my peers or been around in situations where people dont know what is wrong?

how do you deal with that? what do you say? does it put a damper on your usual personality?

just basically get a discussion going on how you deal with people our age in a social setting with friends and what not.

It depends on how well I know the person. If it's a true friend that I think deserves a real explanation for why I am the way I am, and is likely to be supportive, I tell them most of the nitty gritty details. Other than my mom, my husband, my sister and you guys, two of my coworkers and my best friend are who keep me going on the rough days. It's nice having trusted, caring coworkers who know a good deal of what's going on. Then my grimaces and groans aren't misunderstood. They know why I can't go out for drinks, go to "boot camp" style workout classes with them, and why I have to skip lunch many times depending on the restaurant of choice. They get why I wander down the hall to the restroom one or more times every hour, unlike the woman from the front office who sighs loudly and makes comments under her breath when I leave the restroom. Heck, my boss is even who first recommended my current rheumy back in my diagnostic process, because he was the only one able to diagnose her dad.

As for random acquaintances of my age, unless they overhear my conversation with someone close, I usually keep them in the dark other than that I have "health problems." It's just too much of a pain in the a** to explain when most of the time they think I'm a hypochondriac or attention whore or something anyway.

I am very reserved about my AS, only my mom, dad, and brother, my girlfriend, and two closest freinds know that I have AS. Everyone else I keep in the dark; my girlfriend wants me to tell more people, but I just don't want people to pitty me or something like that; maybe I have too much pride, but thats just me. I just find it frustrating, especially when the people who you consider your closest freinds and know about it, still give you a hard time for not going to parties. For instance, last night there was a party, like every weekend; and I had a rough week so I didn't want to go. And one of the two people I told about my AS who I consider my "closest friends" texted asking if I was going to be lame and not come out again. It really ticked me off.

So anyways, sorry for my rambling, but what I'm trying to say is that I don't think it matters if you tell someone, because they still can't fathom what where going through, and don't understand. So basically unless your coming off like a jerk to people, I don't see any problem in keeping it to yourself.