Spondylitis Association of America Forums General Discussion Men Only Message Board Why aren't there more men here?

One of the biggest surprises for me has been to realize that most of the posters seem to be women (in the general boards). Why is that? There are far more men with AS than there are women with the disease. But not so many men post, it seems. Are the men too busy working? Not the type to post? Why are the men not more active online here? Any thoughts?

Men don't share their feelings as much. That said, we are not really men

That's generally true Tadao. Um, what does "we are not really men" connote? Not getting it...

The men posters here have too many feeling to be men. Joking

I kind of thought the stereotype was that guys were more computer literate and active in posting stuff.

Yeah, it's funny, I started Spondyville in 1995, and I was surprised, at first, at how many women kept showing up, far more than the ratio of men to women with AS. That was a clue to me, that the thinking at the time about women and AS was off; that there were a lot more of them than was, at the time, predicted. But additionally, I think women do tend to be more willing to openly share their feelings, while some men, wait until they're in a crisis and need an answer. I also think women tend to seek out help more often than men, in the same way men won't ask for directions when driving.

The truly enlightened men, however, like us, are able to be both manly AND sensitive.

P.S. I've also noticed the some people join, share, get the support they need, and then leave, only coming back if their current status deteriorates and they have more questions. I suppose that's just the nature of things.


Spenser23

Perhaps only men who are secure enough in their own masculinity are comfortable with letting their "feminine" side show and actually share and discuss with others in an open forum. Wouldn't that make us MORE "manly"?

I was joking hehe. Don't get all emotional! Haha

But yeah, I only came here to share when I was to far gone.

Yes, let's go with the "more manly" theory.


Spenser "MM" 23

Beard, check
Tatoo, check
Tough biker image, check
Hot lookin babe, check (wife in my case!!)

Good. Now I can talk about those "things"!

Well, thank God for the women making this board active. And a hearty invitation for you male lurkers out there to come out of the shadows every now and then.

I think people who are doing OK with their disease and busy with life will not have too much time to spend here. That is great. They will miss out on some helpful discussions, but can always go back and read the archives when they get interested. One cool thing is that the record of people's experiences is being added to all the time, so the information is growing. But there is still a lot to be said about interacting with others -- even making friends -- through this forum. For the first 23 years I had AS I only knew one other person with the disease. I felt alone in it, but since it was not a major issue in my life, that seemed OK.

I myself did not even start reading this site until my doctor told me about Enbrel and that people with AS were using it in trials -- that was shortly before it was approved -- so I wanted to do some research and see what people were saying. I might have had a few questions back then, but did not get active until this past year when my condition got so bad that I was compelled to get more answers. As I got involved I discovered a community (with more women than I expected, but still diverse).

Sometimes when I don't feel well all I want to do is just lie in bed and use my laptop and wireless to stay amused. I spend time at other blogs, but try to check out this site every day, at least the General boards. Technology has brought us together and it has also now become part of my therapy. Nope -- that sounds too unmanly. Instead let's say it has become part of my LIFE.

Well-said Mark,

But personally, I think it's because Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars.

Dean

I think a lot of us guys are just set in our ways. Not just in general, but with dealing with A.S. as well.

In speaking for myself, I've had A.S. for 25 out of 35 years of my life. And Enbrel works great for me.

So I really don't have much to post about.


Unless we start talkin' about women. Then I've got some things to say.

Storm

Well being new to the board, I wondered also why they were not many posts here? I think this is a great place to gather knowledge and so far that is what I am doing to the most part. I have question for the male group and will post it soon. I hope that we all can work together to help one another battle what ever has us down.
Ron

Storm, I agree with your point. Reviewing my "oral" medical history, my rheumy feels that I started presenting symptoms at age 14, 46 years ago. Other than some very frustrating "mysteries" such as no mater how carefully I trained (powerlifting and Judo) I kept getting these anoying back and joint injuries.

This went on until three years ago when the pain became so bad that I was hating to go to the gym and my PCP refered me to my current rheumy. Now, on HUMIRA and metatrexate (recently), the pain and inflamation is better thant it has been in years...so my feeling is "it is all good" and I don't ahve much else to say.
uncle mikey