Don,t really know how to go about this I do not have Ankylosing Spondylitis my bf does we have been together 3 years and living together for one year. For the first two years (AS) was never a problem yes he got stiff and sore and stuff but it never stopped him doing anything.
But this last year his health has been rapidly declining. And it's quite scary. He has started these injections called humaria or something which he told me this could affect his fertility and that we may not be able to have children and this children thing is a massive deal to me but he just shrugs as if whatever. I don't care. He will not talk to me about anything. Will not explain any of this to me at all.
The humira made him vomit a lot and blood coming out of his bum and stuff. He was hospitalised 3 times because of this issue in the space of 2 weeks constantly being In and out of AE . They stopped the humaria for a while there which made him slightly better just a lot more in pain even though he was In pain on the humira anyway. I don,t quite understand why he wants to go back on it not only that he now has suspected pericarditis. Which he tells me he was hospitalised with that before we meet and that it comes with the disease. We are lying in bed at night and I can literally feel his heart thump out of his chest so that's more visits to A&E. The docters just say there is nothing that the can really do for him that he has to just learn to live with it. That really pisses me off. And he like I said won,t talk to me about it.
Also this year he had a absecess he had to get removed on his bum . Which was painful and more surgery. He's constantly complaing that the humaria is making him sweat a extreme amounts. And also we do not have sex anymore we haven't in near 8 months and we finally did last week and im constantly trying so much. And dont,t no how much rejection i can take yes I no he has a lot going on and I no I don't understand the pain he's in or anything thats going on but this affects me to not just him. What's a relationship without intimacy I do not just mean sex I mean cuddling hugging wanting to be with one another even high five. When I talk to him he just says theres no point because I could never understand and that it's him that's sick not me.
For the life of me this man is going to be my husband surely this means his burden is my burden and I think I have been pretty patient with this whole thing. But according to him me talking to him about it is causeing me to stress him out which is causing his health to decline to I really don't no what to do I need help to no how to support him with this or how to understand because I really am losing it mentally
Last edited by Grace1234; 08/13/12 06:35 PM.